Toronto Hydro adds insult to injury

Here from The Sun, a comment on Toronto Hydro’s money-saving tips for this Christmas.
(Our personal favourite is the “no-cook chicken”—that should solve a lot of problems!)

Hydro barons mad with power

30

Mike Strobel city hall logo

By ,Toronto Sun

First posted: | Updated:
Toronto Hydro's 12 Days of Christmas
Toronto Hydro’s 12 Days of Christmas (YouTube screengrab)

TORONTO – Better get this column written before the power goes out and we retreat to our caves and candles.
That’s where we’re headed, if the dimbulbs running Ontario’s electrical grid aren’t unplugged.
Now, I think they’re even laughing at us.
When I watched Toronto Hydro’s new 12 Days of Christmas video on YouTube I assumed it was a Yuletide jest.
It tells us to save energy by making ornaments from old incandescent bulbs and pine cones. It suggests we dine on such fare as “no bake” energy bars, “no cook” cheeseballs or chocolate coconut balls, “low cook” cheese dip and “no cook, low cook” fudge.”
Excellent plan. We’ll keep our electrical bill down by eating nothing but raw food. I look forward to the “no cook” chicken. Perhaps it will be easier to digest in the dark.
Here’s my version of 12 Days, which was composed — by torchlight, presumably — some 300 years ago in deepest, darkest England. Altogether, now, folks, sing along…
On the 12th day of Christmas, the dimbulbs gave to us…
12 idled windmills,
11 workers snoozing
10 summer brownouts
9 leaping nepotists
8 veeps a milking us
7 grasping greeners
6 snafus at Pickering
5 golden handshakes
4 shiverin’ seniors
3 bankruptcies
2 axed gasplants
… And the worst damn bills in the land.
Leaping lords, indeed. Our hydro barons have had “no cook” egg on their faces all week — scandalous salaries and rampant nepotism at Ontario Power Generation, shocking rate hikes of 50% over the next decade, more revelations at the gas plant hearings.

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